Teen Violence

Teens ar viloent, cold and unremorseful because their families neiborhoods and society

are violent. Teens care so minor about others because so little care has been shget them

(MacDonald 1A). Many kidren at present in society contain hate and bitterness, and

because of this do they compel a problem. Many argue that children become what they

become because they make their own bed for themselves in life. I am in total

disagreement with this theory. I stand by the fact that children become what they become

according to their upbringing and the environs they were raised in. Parents

study the life a child result lead. Parents are the most important factor in a childs life.

How they get across and act to their children will determine how they become morally and

sociably to society. Divorce, lack of love, lack of discipline, and lack of attention are all

factors that support that parents determine how a child becomes. Parents are role

models, and raising their children together, with love, with discipline, and with lots of

attention is non only their job, and their responsibility as parents. Parents determine how

their children become.

        As the years go by, we see a high and higher divorce rate. As this rate goes up,

so does the crime rate. Couples today make forgotten the word commitment. As a result

of this, the children suffer. It is hard to stand up up with separated parents. Most children

become bitter or choleric as they grow because of their divorced parents. In some cases the

parents compact or argue which can affect a child, and may adapt the child to be more

aggressive. Also, when raising a child in a divorced atmosphere, what kind of lesson is

he/she learning?



They will learn that a commitment is not a austere thing. That...

I find some words in your writing so strange and I can not look up them in my dictionary ( maybe my dictionary is not satisfactory enough).

But some words like that:

Neglectence -- do you stiff neglectfulness??

or dominet -- do you mean dominate???

And at last, I think your points are so strong and good, but you wrote too long in each paragraph, and in someway, I find many the identical idea or the same sentences in the different paragraphs.

I liked this essay and it is exactly what I think too, about teen violence.


Good Job!

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